There's one in every crowd

Today one of my coworkers said he early-voted for McCain, then went to another state and early-voted for Barr. He thinks he may vote at least two more times for each. Douche.

It's a head fake

The news that Barack Obama, who knows full well of our plans, "bought" a half hour of prime time on at least two major U.S. television networks for a night three days after we take over may surprise those who read this blog. However, he has not paid cash up front. Obama is shrewd. Like McCain, he has doubts we can pull it off, so he's hedging his bets. He won't be billed until after the 29th. If he's in the mines by then, he figures it won't matter that he may or may not have the money to pay the bill. If something goes wrong for us, he figures he'll probably be the president by the time the bill becomes overdue, and no one is going to repo Air Force One.

It wasn't really a gaffe

John McCain said "my fellow prisoners" because he had just been talking to us about the status of the takeover. He knows it's imminent, and he let slip what everyone's status is about to become. Officially, we're still on target for Oct. 26, but personally I'm keeping a few of my eyes on what you might refer to as a worker drone in sector 7G. He's on the ground in "an undisclosed location" -- it would not be inaccurate to infer Dick Cheney spends time there occasionally -- and is supposed to be nailing down critical systems in the mid-Atlantic. In a meeting today he's asked about things that could be done to make everything more secure. Each time, there's a blank look, then he says, "Well, I guess I could do that, yeah. Good idea." By the end I was ready to shove a rocket up his Uranus.

What's REALLY going on

My boss didn't want to let me come out for this -- you can tell my posting has dropped -- but way up the food chain they recognize you are getting distracted, at least those who are paying attention to the U.S. and the U.S. presidential race. Let's be clear: The financial collapse is due to a small handful of people who are, in essence, short-selling us -- They don't believe we can pull of this takeover, but they think we will bring about an economic recalibration -- and to the cynicism of Bush and McCain. On similar grounds. They also don't believe we will be able to take over. I know. I've had probes so far up their asses I could look out their eyes. They are no better than Putin. We are considering a new job category for the post-takeover period. We may find the nastiest, most oral-sex-hungry people, and require them to be serviced by McCain, Bush and their senior advisors.

Who is this, and what has he done with David?

Now we have to go find David Brooks for probing. If he really made a solid argument that Sarah Palin is unqualified it means either that he is now a meth head or that there is an unregistered alien who has taken on his identity. The argument is completely correct, but it is unlike him to completely take on his party so boldly and thoroughly. My money is on the meth.

Tweet tweet

So far, follow my Twitter to see my reaction during this convention.

Rocky Mountains-bound

Headed to Denver. We're going to pick up a few of the Hillary dead-enders for probing, the ones who say they are for Hillary because of the issues but they will vote for McCain rather than Obama. The brain circuitry on this may be interesting.

OBiden

I went a little nuts this morning in my Twitter feed about the Obama-Biden announcement. Sorry to my handful of followers. But dammit, our sleep cycle was synced last night with the East Coast of the U.S., and the goddam thing came out at 3:30. Yes, we watch such things. Gotta know who needs an implant -- Biden gets his tonight. You announce these things at that time of day/night? What. The. Intercourse. Whose genius idea was that? I'll shove a probe so far up that person's ass that I can modulate the settings in his/her open mouth. Please don't do that anymore.

Even a blind MF pig!

You totally nailed it, without even knowing (maybe). Yes, John Edwards is the parent of aliens, but we resent the "alien lizards" reference. We are warm-blooded. MaxTheDog2, once we track him down, will have surface duty, if the bots don't get him first.