It wasn't really a gaffe

John McCain said "my fellow prisoners" because he had just been talking to us about the status of the takeover. He knows it's imminent, and he let slip what everyone's status is about to become. Officially, we're still on target for Oct. 26, but personally I'm keeping a few of my eyes on what you might refer to as a worker drone in sector 7G. He's on the ground in "an undisclosed location" -- it would not be inaccurate to infer Dick Cheney spends time there occasionally -- and is supposed to be nailing down critical systems in the mid-Atlantic. In a meeting today he's asked about things that could be done to make everything more secure. Each time, there's a blank look, then he says, "Well, I guess I could do that, yeah. Good idea." By the end I was ready to shove a rocket up his Uranus.

We're trying

We realized a few weeks ago, as you probably read here, that we accidentally set the probe that's up John McCain's ass to "random." It wasn't a huge concern since our deadline is Oct. 26, but it's becoming a bit of a panic-inducer. We'd rather not have the sideshow in the waning weeks. Of course, it's harder than ever to get to him now. Many, many bodyguards and hangers-on. He's liable to say anything at any time. The other day his campaign unleashed a TV ad in which the words "greedy CEOs" appeared on the screen at the same time as the image of a black man. It's crazy, Jesse Helms stuff, potentially very explosive. We assume it's the probe scrambling his thoughts. If we can't get to him soon, we'll have to give up. Too much to do, especially the last two weeks. So, if he keeps acting wacky: Sorry.

What's REALLY going on

My boss didn't want to let me come out for this -- you can tell my posting has dropped -- but way up the food chain they recognize you are getting distracted, at least those who are paying attention to the U.S. and the U.S. presidential race. Let's be clear: The financial collapse is due to a small handful of people who are, in essence, short-selling us -- They don't believe we can pull of this takeover, but they think we will bring about an economic recalibration -- and to the cynicism of Bush and McCain. On similar grounds. They also don't believe we will be able to take over. I know. I've had probes so far up their asses I could look out their eyes. They are no better than Putin. We are considering a new job category for the post-takeover period. We may find the nastiest, most oral-sex-hungry people, and require them to be serviced by McCain, Bush and their senior advisors.

Excellent! Time for another implant. These are so much more interesting than probing. More exacting work, more challenging, and most important there is so much less squealing. And no smell. Sarah Palin, we're on our way.

Rocky Mountains-bound

Headed to Denver. We're going to pick up a few of the Hillary dead-enders for probing, the ones who say they are for Hillary because of the issues but they will vote for McCain rather than Obama. The brain circuitry on this may be interesting.

What's so hard to believe?

So John McCain says he didn't hear the question about the anti-Obama book that is filled with lies (we've checked: all lies). Let it go. He's 73 years old. OF COURSE he didn't hear the question and threw off a non-answer that ended up throwing gas on the fire. You people get pretty hard of hearing by the time you're 45, let alone 73.

Red space herring

We'll clear this up fast: Barack Obama is familiar with this blog, and he knows full well that whatever he proposes for space exploration is a moot point. Promise NASA the moon, whatever, it won't matter. John McCain knows this too. Don't base any votes on whatever they say about NASA funding. (Trivia on what NASA really means: Non-Assisted Space Attempt. True.)