The Earth is farting

Two things: 1) Yes, methane releases in the Arctic have increased, and it will eventually lead to the runaway climate change you're all afraid of. 2) Irrelevant. Oct. 26! We have a timetable, and most all of you will be off working in the mines by the time this seriously alters the planet's climate. For now, go about your business, move along, nothing to see here.

Confession time

Some of the recent jellyfish problem is a global-warming thing. We're also breeding them and releasing them. We think they're cute.

'Your kind made a desert of it'

Perhaps years from now we may bring a few of you back to Earth to see what eventually became of the planet after the climate change you initiated finally petered out. It would be an interesting sociological/psychological experiment. We could bring Bush himself, assuming he survives the mega-probing that he has coming. You'll hardly recognize the place. You may even be grateful for the mines. But probably not.