The Earth is farting

Two things: 1) Yes, methane releases in the Arctic have increased, and it will eventually lead to the runaway climate change you're all afraid of. 2) Irrelevant. Oct. 26! We have a timetable, and most all of you will be off working in the mines by the time this seriously alters the planet's climate. For now, go about your business, move along, nothing to see here.

Define 'snow'

Don't get overexcited about snow on Mars. I'm pretty sure what was falling out of the atmosphere at that time was in the same place where, just a little earlier, we purged out tanks. Could be yellow snow.

In a hundred years or so

Every time we take over a planet, I pass a place where I think I want to live when I retire. This is Mars again. Love the views, and it never rains.

Yes, we can walk on water

But no, we did not cause the flooding in the Midwestern U.S. We do not control the weather. Except the rain-free lightning that started fires in California. That was an accident -- static-cling discharge from coming through the atmosphere too fast. Sorry. Anyway, if we controlled the weather, we wouldn't have a squishy date set for when we take complete control and begin rounding up the whole lot of you.