Define 'snow'

Don't get overexcited about snow on Mars. I'm pretty sure what was falling out of the atmosphere at that time was in the same place where, just a little earlier, we purged out tanks. Could be yellow snow.

In a hundred years or so

Every time we take over a planet, I pass a place where I think I want to live when I retire. This is Mars again. Love the views, and it never rains.

I'm gonna miss you guys

I just learned today that your latest robot probe on Mars has its own Twitter feed. This is adorable. Clearly it's really a human in Melbourne, Fla., or Houston or something answering questions, but it's an absolutely stunning example of your species' ability to feign ignorance of reality for the sake of having fun. Really, we admire it. Meanwhile, you have less than four months to prepare whatever fairy tales you'll tell yourselves while in the mines.

Back to the mating

Another photo from Mars. THIS is going to get him/her hot and bothered just looking at it. We'll have sex for a week, at least. I'll take an IV.

Nice place to visit

First visit to Mars today for R&R. Very nice. I have to take the mate there once I get all of you shoved off to the salt mines.