How would Kang vote?

Let's get this first question out of the way. No matter what you see in the Weekly World News, we are not endorsing anyone in the U.S. presidential contest. Were we electing one of them to rule our world, we would vote for Barack Obama. Our world has universal health care, of course, and a highly progressive tax system, supplemented by the plundered wealth of worlds we have conquered. We also do not torture our own people, although you will not benefit from that stance as we are not human. However, as a former prisoner of war, John McCain would be far better equipped to help us communicate to you what your new lives will be like. It is a moot point, though, because our takeover of your world will be complete by Oct. 26, barring unforeseen weather-related delays.