Ah, hell

This sucks. Ted Stevens is a good guy, alien-wise. You could hardly ask for a better landing spot than almost anyplace in Alaska, and he was always there to bullshit the locals on odd goings-on. You would not be such easy invasion-bait without him. Really, the bribing is among the most blatant in the galaxy. Man. At least there's less than 90 days to our takeover and shipping you off to the mines. Otherwise, we'd be having internal meetings and such and this would be important, time-diverting stuff.